...quiet, about a lot of things...
Monday, June 12, 2006
Writer, Heal thyself!
I woke up this morning....crotchity. Yesterday, I spent way to much time on this computer. i'm trying to gather more understanding...about alot of things.....one of them being Autism. I work with a couple of kids with mild symptoms. Autism is known as a "spectrum" disorder....as I guess you could say CP is. All this poking around in the world of disability, has felt sort of like trying to pick off a scab....WAY before it's ready...
My ventures into autism, have been confusing. There's lots of contradiction in the science as well as the community itself, on protocols, education standards, and rights. I feel like a dog chasing my tail...and I'm just on the sidelines of this one, trying to understand. How must this feel to be in the family..the parent or sibling of an autistic person. They can't turn off their computers, when there minds start swimming upstream...and call it a day. A day if FRIGGIN nothing! This is their LIFE.
and then I found Ballastexistenz. This is a site written by an autistic woman, herself. She is non verbal, and probably what society considers severely disabled. Yet after an hour on her site...I went to Amazon and ordered a book, on her recomendation. I know that "normal" society, doesn't have much of a taste for understanding disability, but her site is really worth seeing..and reading. The theme I guess, is the RIGHT TO BE. just as she is...no apologies..no attemps to FIX or make palatable.. The name of her website is based on a german phrase... an unneeded weight.. that nazi's and prenazi's used to justify their eugenic efforts.
As I explained to my husband,(him backing away,I had that look it my eye!!)..."i wouldn't be here..If I was born in Nazi land. Sure I'm arian enough, but I'm DEFECTIVE...so is your sister..her son...and GOD KNOWS who else we know..."
To calm me down..he reminded me that I am here, and that we live in a much different times. I dared him to go read the above mentioned site..and come back to me to tell me if he still thought times were THAT different. He declined, and went to mow our lawn.
I thought of my school kids, all their faces, and all their goofy smiles, and tried to muster the courage to face them today. If I was really brave, and really as honest as I see my self, This would be the first thing we would talk about this morning...before math facts, or phonics. We'd talk about this world they and I were born into....and It's real need to heal.
My ventures into autism, have been confusing. There's lots of contradiction in the science as well as the community itself, on protocols, education standards, and rights. I feel like a dog chasing my tail...and I'm just on the sidelines of this one, trying to understand. How must this feel to be in the family..the parent or sibling of an autistic person. They can't turn off their computers, when there minds start swimming upstream...and call it a day. A day if FRIGGIN nothing! This is their LIFE.
and then I found Ballastexistenz. This is a site written by an autistic woman, herself. She is non verbal, and probably what society considers severely disabled. Yet after an hour on her site...I went to Amazon and ordered a book, on her recomendation. I know that "normal" society, doesn't have much of a taste for understanding disability, but her site is really worth seeing..and reading. The theme I guess, is the RIGHT TO BE. just as she is...no apologies..no attemps to FIX or make palatable.. The name of her website is based on a german phrase... an unneeded weight.. that nazi's and prenazi's used to justify their eugenic efforts.
As I explained to my husband,(him backing away,I had that look it my eye!!)..."i wouldn't be here..If I was born in Nazi land. Sure I'm arian enough, but I'm DEFECTIVE...so is your sister..her son...and GOD KNOWS who else we know..."
To calm me down..he reminded me that I am here, and that we live in a much different times. I dared him to go read the above mentioned site..and come back to me to tell me if he still thought times were THAT different. He declined, and went to mow our lawn.
I thought of my school kids, all their faces, and all their goofy smiles, and tried to muster the courage to face them today. If I was really brave, and really as honest as I see my self, This would be the first thing we would talk about this morning...before math facts, or phonics. We'd talk about this world they and I were born into....and It's real need to heal.
3 Comments:
Wendy,
Thank you so much for including the link to Ballastexistenz. I went to it, then through it viewed the Autism: Every Day video from http://www.autismspeaks.org. I have to say it took me a few minutes to stop crying enough to comment back to you. The examples in that 13min. video touched home so much.
I look forward to reading more of your posts.
P.S. Is it OK that I am NOT a quiet person? Still Friends? LOL
At least you care and that is the most important thing - the fact that you even care enough to get angry is admirable - I tend to be a silly little ostrich (if I can get away with it) or stand helplessly by and rely on people ike yourself to do the fighting ... I'm not proud of myself sometimes. :( You should be proud of yourself!
Hi Chief and Mommy Bee,
Thanks for reading this one. Sometimes it seems like everyone wants entertainment..all the time. God Knows I love a good giggle, but i like to FEEL and act for others as well. I do though, enjoy most, writing about how these kids I know brighten my day, and teach me as much as I teach them.
ohh, and Mommy bee, Go ahead and Scream if you want to be that loud...I'm behind ya...smiling at your guts..
Wendy
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