...quiet, about a lot of things...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A tale of Two Teachers

I went back and checked my EXTENSIVE archives..to verify that indeed, I am in a bad ass bitchy mood every Monday...this is news to me, honest...but I'll tuck it in my to do(or change) file. The universe was telling me to lighten up today...and this is the tale she spun.....

Today was Kindergarten graduation, an my last day of work for almost 2 months....yipee skippy! I love kinder graduation. This year, the three different sections had all made various daisy masks..(petal around the outside, kid faces in the middle) So cute..It hurt. My fav teacher's class had hand prints on their petals.
The boy I help..."H"... was awesome!!! He stood on those bleachers like a pro..and did almost all the hand gestures to the songs...and didn't sit down or rock once. I was so proud.

Feeling Pride for something that was HIS to be prideful of...was the moment that the universe lifted her head and decided to remind me off my place. Boy does she have one wicked sense of humor.

After the program, all filed back to the kindie clasrooms. I had made H and the rest of "my kids" little gift bags for an end of the year treat. I waited for "H" to come in with parents, and grand parents, to give a hug...and truth be told, get a great big hug from H. I was waiting for my kodak moment. Instead, in walked H, with Miss SONGER...his old helper, whom I had replaced.

A bit of backround...all the boys that I work with, had always said Miss Songers name in the hushed tones of sweet memory. But none of the girls had ever metioned her to me. Her name usually came up when I made one of the boys cry. (this is, by the way, Much easier to do with boys..made all those boys cry, at least once. Never had a little girl shed one crocodile tear..just for reference) Anyway, when I would get one of these boys a kleenex and tell them to wipe their nose and chin up, my friend...they would always drift off and "Wish Miss SOOONNGGEERR was still here..." I never met her...but boy, she must have been a softie, I thought.

I WAS WRONG. Miss Songer is not a softie...MISS SONGER IS A HOTTIE!! While, I think it's safe to say, she is older than me, She is definately...ummm...More FLASHY than me...She left mid term...to be a personal trainer...(should have clued me in...right then and there).

In she walked, In her skimpy cami top, IMPLANTS proceding her, and Fawned all over MY "H". (note, a Touch of Bitterness). I don't think he even knew I exsisted. She snuggled and cuddled and......UGHHHHH! I held my pewny gift bag out to the mom...and managed a small wave to H...when he wasn't ENCLEAVAGED...and left.

We had worked pretty hard this semester on eye contact... and the only thing his eyes had contact with....well, let's just say it wasn't my eyes. H had this silly look on his face, like he had just met SANTA....and SANTA was a CENTERFOLD.

After distributing the rest of my gifts...(one of the kids said...Hey, Why'd you bring me lunch??...the gift was in a craft paper brown bag that I stayed up to stamp...JUST OPEN THE DANG THING I muttered....)I slunk out of the school feeling not heroic and loved...no, just out done and out shined.

Leave it to the VIXENS! They can always steal a girls thunder...I drove away, Thinking of each boys DREAMY expression, with the words MISS SONGER on his lips. What a BOOB I had been....

Then it hit me...as I turned up the radio....These were the SPECIAL NEEDS boys..the ones with delayed speech or learning impairments, or Autism...and here they were..RIGHT ON TRACK...acting like all the other boys would..even at their tender age!! They were just one of the boys...dreamily falling under the spell that would hold them captive for life. Right on schedule.....

I sang along with the beachboys...wishing they all could be California girls..(Miss Songer looked like a California Girl.....)

Oh well, some things you need to help with, but others just come naturally!
posted by wendy at 5:19 PM

4 Comments:

It always cracks me up to see little kids getting the flirting technique down. Sometimes they're really good!

6/20/06, 9:30 PM  

This was SO funny - well written; I could see it all! Your sense of humour is worth far more than any of Miss Songer's other more, shall we say less subtle? attributes. Have a good holiday!

6/21/06, 5:21 AM  

Love this! My little Simon (4-years-old) fell in head-over-heels LOVE with his preeschool teacher, Miss Sadie ("Miss Sabie," he calls her). She got married a few weeks ago and invited HIM (no one else from her class!) to her wedding. He was awestruck at the sight of her in her wedding gown. (He didn't recognize her at first). At the end of every class, she would hug him and say, "I love your guts, Dude!" At the wedding, he looked adoringly into her face and said, "Miss Sabie, it's ME! It's Simon!"... Her new husband was only a little annoyed at the attention she paid to this little boy in love with his wife!

6/23/06, 1:30 PM  

PS Simon's new teacher is a dead ringer for Hot Lips Hoolihan as she looks today!

6/23/06, 1:32 PM  

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