...quiet, about a lot of things...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Form over Function? for Poetry Thursday

This poem was written following a form called Villanelle. For the exact form go to PT.

It was written for my trainer, who's mare lost it's foal. The foal was born beautifully alive, but weak, and malformed, with a blaze and four white socks. It first day was its last.

Having to stay in form...may have made this easier to write. Just an aside...I brought the mare, Sidnae, a 20 pound bag of carrots. I fed her some, as the snow covered the ground with white. White, just like the orchids..

Condolence Call

I bring her orchids
in times of grief.
an offering of hope

a line of buds
jade buttons on a sleeve.
I bring her orchids

with two or three
sprung open
an offering of hope,
spread wide and exposed
anchoring the base with ripe.
I bring her orchids

to balance the cruel with the possible.
to lead the fertile way home
an offering of hope.

I can not explain the why of death.
So instead, I find a perfect life.
I bring her orchids
an offering of hope.


Form a line..single file...and follow me to Poetry Thursday....


posted by wendy at 10:20 AM


This was beautiful and even more so after reading the story. I can't even chose a favorite line because it was the flow of hope that captured my heart.

4/26/07, 11:58 AM  

Good effort. It's sad about the foal. I wonder if one day of life is better than nothing.

4/26/07, 12:07 PM  

Very nice. One of the best villenelles I have read. Perfect, with the explanation.

4/26/07, 1:02 PM  

"I can not explain the why of death.
So instead, I find a perfect life."
These words are just perfect... it's so sad to see them come all this way only to have them go so soon...

4/26/07, 1:46 PM  

Beautiful and gentle. I like the loose way you followed the form, it worked to keep the lines shorter for this one.

4/26/07, 1:52 PM  

Orchids and a villanelle, and offerings of hope make beautiful poetry.

4/26/07, 5:32 PM  

beautiful poem, sad story.

4/27/07, 4:07 AM  

Like the last stanza especially.

4/27/07, 7:02 PM  

wonderful poem as always. Loved that you just kinda followed the idea. The poem's substance is much more important than any rules. I am sorry for your friend.
The single file line at the end made me giggle.

4/28/07, 8:46 AM  

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