...quiet, about a lot of things...

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Nowhere Near Natural...for PoetryThursday

For a clear explanation of what this is about...see yesterdays entry.



Mock Death

I bring to you
this hollow eulogy

the structure of grief
the outline of loss
the perimeter of life
the indentation of you.

It's middle
all spooned out
no such string
or pumpkin seed
pulp.

It's insides
carefully picked clean
of the soft
details

like the
gold flecks
of your eyes
or
the full upper
of your lip
or
the heart point tip
of your chin.

I bring you
only this empty shell
crudely rendered
as make believe.
An impostor wearing
a misspelled sign.

I need it so.
nowhere near
credible.

an unmistakable
mock death.

wlf 8:18

Get on over to Poetry Thursday!

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posted by wendy at 8:00 AM

14 Comments:

"I bring you
only this empty shell
crudely rendered
as make believe.
An impostor wearing
a misspelled sign."

Great lines. Great poem.

4/12/07, 11:03 AM  

this is so poignant:

"It's insides
carefully picked clean
of the soft
details"

I think, of course, of crows cleaning up a carcass. Very nice.

4/12/07, 4:29 PM  

You just get better and better!

4/12/07, 5:10 PM  

Wendy,
you did a great job with your daughter's request while at the same time protecting yourself, by keeping "mock" the focus.

I've journeyed into this scene in my private moments and it's too terrible to contemplate for any length of time.
Bravo!
rel

4/12/07, 6:09 PM  

Wendy- I couldn't even think of doing something like this and I don't even have kids! But it was very well done and I loved this line...
I need it so.
nowhere near
credible.
There are many things I could say that about...

4/12/07, 6:56 PM  

Oh Wendy,

I love this poem on its own terms, but the connection to this awful "assignment." I know it makes it all the more difficult because your daughter genuinely does believe in the project. So what I like about this poem is it's the very thing that make certain teachers really suspicious of poets.

Anyway, keep this poem as way to keep sane!

4/12/07, 10:48 PM  

Hi Wendy,

I was reading back into this weeks posts and I am sorry that your children are going through this phase.

I really am moved by your poem here for Rach, I can't imagine having to think of this as real.

Rose

xo

4/13/07, 5:05 AM  

There is a lot of pain here Wendy. I pray that you will never need this poem for real.

4/13/07, 5:24 AM  

Wonderful prose wrested out of an excruciating "prompt". I can't imagine how awful to even contemplate.

4/13/07, 6:54 AM  

This is gorgeous in its sadness and made me cry. xo

4/13/07, 8:44 AM  

So many good bits in that one - and the motivating factor only makes it that much more powerful, despite its attempt to remain unreal, at arm's length.

4/13/07, 8:46 AM  

This did me in: "It's middle
all spooned out." I've known middles spooned out, you see. Very nice read.

4/13/07, 12:26 PM  

Wendy..I have lived this..such a sad half life..hope I never do it again..thank you for stopping by..:) blogger is making me be anonymous today..take care..madd

4/14/07, 7:47 AM  

This is cool :)

4/15/07, 3:25 PM  

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