...quiet, about a lot of things...

I haven't written lately about my girls. They are still alive, and growing further still away from the nest. This isn't a tearful, please don't go type of departure.It more angry and urgent than that. They are growing more disgusted with their living situation day by day. I am growing more disgusted with my dwindling role, less mother and more chauffeur and portable ATM. Teenage daughters are no picnic, I tell you.

But last night, I caught a brief yet poignant glimpse of Rachel. Not the little imp she used to be. I saw the powerful woman she will become. She had attended an Amnesty International meeting at her school. She had invited me along, but I'm far enough down the depression hole right now as it is.

She came in when she got home. She sat on the bed and broke down. She wept. No crocodile tears. No manipulation. She wept for people she does not know. She wept because she felt futile uselessness of not being yet ready to help. She wept at herself, her spoiled self. She wept for her nation of violent obsession and blind eyed betrayal. She witnessed hatred and evil and waste.

I was so proud of her I could burst. I did not try to talk it away. I honored her pain. I told her she will help to make it right. I told her to fight the hatred in her own heart. I told her that Mother Teresa and Ghandi stilled found joy in a world swollen with suffering.

She asked me this question: "Who are WE to live this life, while others are forced by birth to live in suffering?"

I did not know what to say. "We can only walk our paths with dignity, compassion and integrity. We must celebrate our blessings. We must be open to loving one another, not just the victims, but the villains. Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could. But everything comes from believing."

I didn't tell her not to cry herself to sleep. I knew she would. My baby left me today. She started her journey to save the world. Watch out, she will blaze a trail so bright. She will blaze a trail so bright.


(Edited to add an email I recieved from rach, last night.)

Hey everyone,

Yesterday I saw the documentary Invisible Children about child soldiering in Uganda. Please take the time to see it! You can buy it at www.invisiblechildren.com. It will change your life! It certainly changed mine. If you've already seen it, see it again! Really, I can't emphasize the importance of this issue. The movie speaks for itself, and for the children in Uganda. Please, please, please, be a responsible, compassionate human being and help this horrible situation!

Rachel