...quiet, about a lot of things...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I'm Going Nuts
Oh, this phrase applies to so many things.
First thought is of a a boyfriend I once had. (You know him, I've introduced him before...remember THE DEVIL, also known as the comedian.)Well, little Timmy had quite a well honed and twisted sense of humor.
He found out that I am allergic to nuts, well peanuts, to be more specific.This odd fact amused him immensly. He promised that when I died, he would attend my internment, even if we hadn't seen each other in years. He would hire the Planters Peanut man (ya know the big giant peanut dude with the top hat)to do a tap dance on my coffin before I was buried.
Timmy then broke into fits of laughter, and offered a tight little soft shoe preview..which, was pretty good, I may add. His father had been a big vaudevillian in the day, and had taught Timmy well. (I have already mentioned devil...and twisted.) But you know what, to this day I still grin when I see the Planters guy on a TV commercial. Our little morbid joke. I'm sure wherever he lurks now, Timmy still thinks of me to when ever he eats a peanut.
Speaking of peanuts, there is a little girl in one of the class rooms I visit, who is allergic to peanuts. She is in second grade. The other day I went to enter the class by the front door. There were no less than six 11x14 brand new laminated signs proclaiming a PEANUT FREE ZONE. in different languages, with visuals (the poor offending peanut) and a startling stick figure image of a choking child.
They had been placed on both door of this classroom at the insistence of the little girls mother. The student had been diagnosed only weeks before. Mom had done "her research" on the Internet and found that her daughter may be susceptible to peanut particles in the air. Parents are no longer allowed to bring in any home baked goodies for treats for birthdays and such, for fear they are somehow packing concealed peanuts.
I carefully entered the hot zone, I, um mean class room. I found the teacher teaching, and the little girl, who I then recognized, sitting in the far left back corner. She was safely by herself. Last week I remember seeing her sit in a group happily playing Go Fish. Looks like those days are over.
When there was a break in the action, I asked what the heck was going on. Had the little girl been sick, or had a scare??? The teacher with tears in her eyes, said no. The mother had just"decided" that this was in the best interest of her daughter, even though she had two epi-pens at the school. The teacher had been ordered to comply...or else.
I walked over to the girl in the corner. She looked so sad, so changed. She was now scared of school, and probably of me too, and her friends and food!! We chatted about math, and I reminded her to carry her ten to the next column. And then I whispered that I was allergic too...and I was fine, I had even been to Europe and gotten married and had kids. The peanuts hadn't gotten me...and they wouldn't get her either. She smiled at me.
"This is nuts" I thought as I left her room...
and drove home to meet Mags who was in a truly foul mood.
After about an hour, I finally got the 411. She had been messing around with friends in the lunch line at school..and had accidentally kicked one of her male friends in the....um..nuts.
This particular boy and she have a history of being friends, and rough housing quite a bit. She's told me that he has "punched/tapped"her in her boob on more than one occasion...as they are messing around on the bus. Don't think I let that one pass...but these are hormone ridden preteens, not yet into petting...but obviously full of...energy.
I asked her if he was OK, and she told me, through tears, that he was. He hadn't gone to the nurse, and has remained on his feet through the incident. OY!! After about 15 minutes I thought I had covered all the points in my "keep your hands(and feet) to yourself" speech. I told her she must take responsibility for her actions, even if accidental. She must apologize. She told me she had, again and again...and he wasn't in the mood to accept.
I left to pick up Rach, get dinner, and then went to bed early, after 2 Benadryls, with horrid cold and a headache.
At 9:30, Rach woke me up and handed me the phone saying it was some lady..and it was important. I sat up in bed, removed my retainers, (yeah, I wear retainers..what of it?) and said hello to the boys very pissed off mother. Seems her son had to go to the emergency room...with a bruised testicle...OY OY OY!!!
Seems the boy told his mommy, hours after the fact, when she got home from work, that Maggie had marched right up to him in the lunch room, in front of the teachers and staff and all the students and had purposely kicked him in his...um ..nuts.
Nutty, I tell you N U T T Y.
First thought is of a a boyfriend I once had. (You know him, I've introduced him before...remember THE DEVIL, also known as the comedian.)Well, little Timmy had quite a well honed and twisted sense of humor.
He found out that I am allergic to nuts, well peanuts, to be more specific.This odd fact amused him immensly. He promised that when I died, he would attend my internment, even if we hadn't seen each other in years. He would hire the Planters Peanut man (ya know the big giant peanut dude with the top hat)to do a tap dance on my coffin before I was buried.
Timmy then broke into fits of laughter, and offered a tight little soft shoe preview..which, was pretty good, I may add. His father had been a big vaudevillian in the day, and had taught Timmy well. (I have already mentioned devil...and twisted.) But you know what, to this day I still grin when I see the Planters guy on a TV commercial. Our little morbid joke. I'm sure wherever he lurks now, Timmy still thinks of me to when ever he eats a peanut.
Speaking of peanuts, there is a little girl in one of the class rooms I visit, who is allergic to peanuts. She is in second grade. The other day I went to enter the class by the front door. There were no less than six 11x14 brand new laminated signs proclaiming a PEANUT FREE ZONE. in different languages, with visuals (the poor offending peanut) and a startling stick figure image of a choking child.
They had been placed on both door of this classroom at the insistence of the little girls mother. The student had been diagnosed only weeks before. Mom had done "her research" on the Internet and found that her daughter may be susceptible to peanut particles in the air. Parents are no longer allowed to bring in any home baked goodies for treats for birthdays and such, for fear they are somehow packing concealed peanuts.
I carefully entered the hot zone, I, um mean class room. I found the teacher teaching, and the little girl, who I then recognized, sitting in the far left back corner. She was safely by herself. Last week I remember seeing her sit in a group happily playing Go Fish. Looks like those days are over.
When there was a break in the action, I asked what the heck was going on. Had the little girl been sick, or had a scare??? The teacher with tears in her eyes, said no. The mother had just"decided" that this was in the best interest of her daughter, even though she had two epi-pens at the school. The teacher had been ordered to comply...or else.
I walked over to the girl in the corner. She looked so sad, so changed. She was now scared of school, and probably of me too, and her friends and food!! We chatted about math, and I reminded her to carry her ten to the next column. And then I whispered that I was allergic too...and I was fine, I had even been to Europe and gotten married and had kids. The peanuts hadn't gotten me...and they wouldn't get her either. She smiled at me.
"This is nuts" I thought as I left her room...
and drove home to meet Mags who was in a truly foul mood.
After about an hour, I finally got the 411. She had been messing around with friends in the lunch line at school..and had accidentally kicked one of her male friends in the....um..nuts.
This particular boy and she have a history of being friends, and rough housing quite a bit. She's told me that he has "punched/tapped"her in her boob on more than one occasion...as they are messing around on the bus. Don't think I let that one pass...but these are hormone ridden preteens, not yet into petting...but obviously full of...energy.
I asked her if he was OK, and she told me, through tears, that he was. He hadn't gone to the nurse, and has remained on his feet through the incident. OY!! After about 15 minutes I thought I had covered all the points in my "keep your hands(and feet) to yourself" speech. I told her she must take responsibility for her actions, even if accidental. She must apologize. She told me she had, again and again...and he wasn't in the mood to accept.
I left to pick up Rach, get dinner, and then went to bed early, after 2 Benadryls, with horrid cold and a headache.
At 9:30, Rach woke me up and handed me the phone saying it was some lady..and it was important. I sat up in bed, removed my retainers, (yeah, I wear retainers..what of it?) and said hello to the boys very pissed off mother. Seems her son had to go to the emergency room...with a bruised testicle...OY OY OY!!!
Seems the boy told his mommy, hours after the fact, when she got home from work, that Maggie had marched right up to him in the lunch room, in front of the teachers and staff and all the students and had purposely kicked him in his...um ..nuts.
Nutty, I tell you N U T T Y.
4 Comments:
We've somehow lost control, it seems. I'll bet the mother of the child with peanut allergies watched "Boston Legal" on Tuesday last week where a child with a peanut allergy died in the classroom. It was a sad episode, but I imagine it scared alot of parents. No one came out the winner in the story. My daughter is allergic to peanuts too, and she's pretty "nuts" about monitoring her foods. I do wonder how this epidemic came about.
My son attended a Cub Scout camp where NO SNACKS were allowed because of a camper with a peanut allergy. Not just, your kid couldn't bring a snack, but the Scouts weren't willing to serve any snacks because of liability. Let me tell you it made for some very UNPLEASANT days because hungry boys can get pretty cranky and rambunctious.
Oh my, that's quite a day. This whole anti-peanut thing is so weird. I'm not that old (mid-30's), and this kind of thing wasn't on the radar at all when I was in school. I'm guessing some of it has to do not so much with rising numbers of allergic people, but with things being diagnosed differently; and I understand parents being scared. But it's so sad to think of that girl sitting all by herself! I'm glad you were there to talk to her at least, to let her know she wasn't completely all alone.
I love this funny post! But I'm sorry for the little girl and the madly-over-protective mother. Peanut particles in the air? I mean, what about pollution in the air and toxic chemicals flying about? That woman needs to get a grip.
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