...quiet, about a lot of things...
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas is always a mixed bag for me. I'm highly charged..very tactile and heavy into sense memory.
The tree filling the house with pine..reminds me not only of my first married tree, but of the time I decorated a charlie brown tree with 7 boxes of white lights for the "devil". No ornaments...just lights...and the years that I finished my mom's tree..late Christmas eve, when she passed out, from sadness and beer.
The presents remind me of $100.00 bills my Grandfather used to hang on the tree...(a BUTT load of money...way back when...)My sister reminded my kids that I opened all her gifts before she woke one year...I think I may have been 3 but she remembers better than I do...My kids opening their gifts as little ones...and my husband giving me a TV antenna for our first Christmas together....
I have been sick my share of Christmas's... I think I've had double pneumonia 3 Christmas's since I was a mom...and my mom tells the ever famous story of having to pry my fingers from a kitchen chair on Christmas eve because I was so sick, and SO NOT breathing...that my lips were turning blue. My husband laughs as he recalls our trip to the ER one Christmas night, when my mom's new beau moved in with his new cat Avalon..I was released...with strict instructions not to enter my moms house again... My little heart was leaping out of my chest...from so much albuterol..and pure oxygen, and fear of a little place called admitting....So,I agreed..and went home, and watched the presents unwrapped from the patio, through the window, wrapped in a blanket. (The boy in the bubble in reverse.)
Whats the point? Christmas is just life magnified...love, longing, disappointment, surprise,sadness and magic. Yes, Virginia, I said MAGIC.
Magic ran thru my veins as a finished a doozey of a fight with Michael..magic won as I wiped the tears away and started wrapping presents. Magic reined supreme as I placed the gifts and filled the stockings...and DID NOT strangle my husband as he slept soundly on the couch as I worked.
Santa crept in to me, took me by the heart, and gave Wendy the heave ho..I wanted to give my heart, Wendys tight little heart, to Christmas...but life stepped in...so Santa saved the day. No other word fits but magic.
As for the lion lying down with the lamb...that's a miracle...and might take a bit more time..But I will never say I don't believe....it's just not in me.
Scary Christmas morning Mom Now I would only show this to a friend...so if you are not a friend....shut your smarmy mouth...
See..I left him alive and smiling and looking oh so refreshed....