...quiet, about a lot of things...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I would pause and see the leaves starting their last flash of life, The brilliant kick to the surface, the one last breath, before fall. I would pause. and remember. And then the light was green and someone was honking, and I moved on.
I would think of how cool the air is becoming at night, and cross my arms to keep a little warmer, and remember the planes, and the hate,...and pause, and then the dogs would bark, and I'd be off to shoosh them. The dogs barking is one of my "big" daily Middle class American problems.
I would finally retreat to my bed, with its comfy pillows, and its fan overhead offering droning white noise to lull me to thoughtlessness. I would think of the pain in the faces on the news, and the true evil in the hearts of men, in the name of their GOD and their COUNTRY...I would pray hard for peace... and then my daughters would start their own angst driven battles. Screaming piercing the night, laying to rest any fallacy I may harbor. I set off to restore peace in my house, scratch that..cease fire in my house. A temporary restraining order. It's time to prune the hate from my own back yard.
After many a long, hard day with one of my kids at school, as they pack their backpacks to go home..usually stickerless(aka bribe-less)..I help them hoist their burdens on their backs. They are tired...so am I. I bend down..to look which ever 5 year old in the face. I say today(at school) is in the past. I take a small hand in my old hand and walk down the hall. I tell him/her tomorrow is another day..a new day. A chance to start again...and make it better.
I wonder, this morning...If they know that I am lying sometimes. Well, if not lying, certainly trying to convince my self that, indeed, it could be true. As I put him on the bus..I am praying... "God, make this be the child to make it true. Let this be the child TO MAKE IT ALL TRUE."