...quiet, about a lot of things...
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
A Simple Question
A friend of mine asked me today..If I looked the same as I did in high school. It took me a bit of time to answer. The truth is: I don't know. I don't know if I am recognizable to people who haven't seen me in 25 years. I think I am roughly the same, but I see myself everyday.
Every once in a while, I have a come to Jesus meeting with my body. I will look and wonder where that bulge came from, or if I have always had that line there. My husband knows enough to lie and say I have never looked more beautiful. God bless him for that.
I even asked my muse once, how he thought I had aged. The answer that came back was very kind, and reeking of falsehoods. How are you supposed to say to someone..."Wow! you are not young anymore!"
When I was young, I was not young any more. So following that line of logic.. now I must be ancient.
Aging is an wild ride. This coming weekend, all my old biddy friends and I will size each other up..to see who's changed, and who's remained the same.
I knew I should have booked that face lift back in April....ah well, too late now. Best get out the skin iron and start pressing!
PS: Just as an aside, my poetry assignment this week: write a poem that is catalog of my body. Ah, introspection's truly a bitch.
Every once in a while, I have a come to Jesus meeting with my body. I will look and wonder where that bulge came from, or if I have always had that line there. My husband knows enough to lie and say I have never looked more beautiful. God bless him for that.
I even asked my muse once, how he thought I had aged. The answer that came back was very kind, and reeking of falsehoods. How are you supposed to say to someone..."Wow! you are not young anymore!"
When I was young, I was not young any more. So following that line of logic.. now I must be ancient.
Aging is an wild ride. This coming weekend, all my old biddy friends and I will size each other up..to see who's changed, and who's remained the same.
I knew I should have booked that face lift back in April....ah well, too late now. Best get out the skin iron and start pressing!
PS: Just as an aside, my poetry assignment this week: write a poem that is catalog of my body. Ah, introspection's truly a bitch.
2 Comments:
Do I look the same? Of course not. I keep but don't display photos of myself because the cognitive dissonance between the way I see myself and the way I really am is too much to bridge. In my mind, my ever wiser soul occupies my 20 year old body. I am still that Grrrl, even as a broader, softer, lined version of myself passes by unnoticed in the shop window reflections on the street.
I think I am still about 14, inside. Fat and pimply, naive and full of fantasies and self-doubts. Even tho' my broader, softer, lined version of myself might be unrecognizable to my high school peers, I could easily recognize them (after discovering who they were, I thought, Of course!--and they looked the same...sort of).
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