...quiet, about a lot of things...
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Pressures of Being a Girl
Rachel was born a small opinionated woman. She has never been a girl. In the Girly girl sense of the word. This is both good and bad. She has always been awfully serious. My in laws found this odd. They thought serious = sad. I knew very early on, serious = thoughtful. She did all those silly things that girls do. Dressed up as a princess...Liked the Backstreet Boys....wobbled on high heels.
But it is as if she never fully bought into it ....She knew she never would be defined by her girlish-ness. She hasn't ever bothered with P O P U L A R. Now I'm not saying that she doesn't notice. She just doesn't surrender to it.
Being smart on the other hand..has always been vitally important to her. She's a goal oriented chic. She has put her head and heart into her studies. She will get into a top tier college. She will rock the world.
Yet today, she came home in tears, because she may not be picked to be Sandy in her Senior musical GREASE. She has been able to work to get every goal she has ever set her mind to. Disappointment does not sit well with her. It's hard to get her to believe, that despite best efforts, one doe not always get every thing one wants.
Maggie on the other hand...is Girl Drama personified. But does this shield her?No, not really at all. See, she buys what they are selling. She'd buy popular in every single color if she could get her hands on it. But, still, it alludes her...She does not have the chops yet. I have no chops at all..so she's had a delayed education.
She made a pact with one of her friends; to go to homecoming together. A really sane decision for girls that age...But of course, the friend got asked by a boy..so Mags was out....Tears fell. Feelings were hurt.
Maggie now has a date. Some non-special boy..who is a friend...and fills the roll of requisite "Date" well. She has fallen in line...marching to the tune of these wild reckless girl. She feels the pressure.
This makes me sad...for both of them. Rach may never get the leading blond role she wants. Maggie, haven been given that role by birth....May let it define her...for a very long time.
I don't know which disturbs me more.....
But it is as if she never fully bought into it ....She knew she never would be defined by her girlish-ness. She hasn't ever bothered with P O P U L A R. Now I'm not saying that she doesn't notice. She just doesn't surrender to it.
Being smart on the other hand..has always been vitally important to her. She's a goal oriented chic. She has put her head and heart into her studies. She will get into a top tier college. She will rock the world.
Yet today, she came home in tears, because she may not be picked to be Sandy in her Senior musical GREASE. She has been able to work to get every goal she has ever set her mind to. Disappointment does not sit well with her. It's hard to get her to believe, that despite best efforts, one doe not always get every thing one wants.
Maggie on the other hand...is Girl Drama personified. But does this shield her?No, not really at all. See, she buys what they are selling. She'd buy popular in every single color if she could get her hands on it. But, still, it alludes her...She does not have the chops yet. I have no chops at all..so she's had a delayed education.
She made a pact with one of her friends; to go to homecoming together. A really sane decision for girls that age...But of course, the friend got asked by a boy..so Mags was out....Tears fell. Feelings were hurt.
Maggie now has a date. Some non-special boy..who is a friend...and fills the roll of requisite "Date" well. She has fallen in line...marching to the tune of these wild reckless girl. She feels the pressure.
This makes me sad...for both of them. Rach may never get the leading blond role she wants. Maggie, haven been given that role by birth....May let it define her...for a very long time.
I don't know which disturbs me more.....
2 Comments:
The agonies we go through for our kids ... your daughters have so much going for them - they will reign supreme! You are such a great Mum (as we say - I know you say Mom, but it doesn't sound right to me ... so I will stick with the familiar! However you pronounce it, you are a wonderful one!)
We, as adults, block out those times of growing up. Too much pain and angst and to our sophisticated adultness, it seems silly now. It's not silly at all.
((((((hugs)))))) for all.
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