...quiet, about a lot of things...

Margo, my friend.

I'm back from another clinic for the US Equestrian Federation. This one was held in Seattle, at a therapeutic riding center. I had been looking forward to this trip, culminating with the first memorial dressage show honoring my friend Margo.

I met Margo only once. She became my friend instantly. She had been a healthy happy woman of 29, teaching, living and I am sure laughing. Then she had a massive stroke. Her right side was severely affected. Her speech was all but gone. Her life had changed forever.

But instead of giving up, she got on a horse. She changed lives, paradigms and programs. She cried and giggled and grew and thrived for another 30 years.

She was killed,18 months ago, at Christmas time, by a drunk driver.She left one party, and was going on to another. She had her white papillon, her constant companion with her, both dying that night.

In reflection, I realize that she lived half of her life able bodied, and exactly half disabled. This strikes me as oddly balanced.

She and I are (were) both "hemi's". Hemiplegia is a condition where there is paralysis or spasticity in one vertical half of a patient's body. Hers was drastic, mine very minute in comparison.

She could still speak a few words, which she tended to group in threes. When I met her, I assumed she was just another shy, withdrawn disabled person...but I did notice that she smiled a lot...so I gathered my courage...(seems I was was the shy one..not her...)and introduced myself..she grabbed my hand with warmth and camaraderie.

I said things to her over those two days, I rarely said to anyone. Certainly I had never said them to people in my horse world.. Things like I get tired....and frustrated...and that I hate my right side sometimes...I live in a constant state of betrayal and I feel ugly....She was sharp as a tack and had the most empathetic eyes. Those eyes said the things she could not. But she would say.."I know, I know, I know...".Then she would point at my left side...my strong side and say ..."Oh boy, Oh boy, OH BOY!"

I looked at my weakness, she looked at my strength.

I saw her as a glorious giant. She was this enormous magnificent, willful, strong spirit. In physical reality..she was 4'11...and probably 100lbs...tiny..just like me. Maybe that's why, I looked at her and saw myself. But I saw in her the beauty I could not find in myself. She beamed life. Full force. Without apologies.

She became my hero. She will always be my hero.

This last weekend, I rode down center line to honor her. I saluted the Judge at C...and in my heart, I saluted Margo....I will continue to salute her each and every day of my life.