...quiet, about a lot of things...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Morning for Sunday Scribblings

We put a bark collar on Mia last night. My morning,hence, has been quiet..so far. I feel like a real tyrant for doing this. I don't think electro-shock therapy is humane for People. Why subject my dog?

Because ELECTRICITY is one thing she seems to respect. Since the electric fence went up..she has stayed in our yard. Chain link fences.. 5 foot wood barriers...oh no..no match for her..Short of razor wire twirled on the top like a crazy violent flourish, an electric fence was actually a compromise! I did briefly consider a moat... but found out that it was against my covenant regulations and restrictions. Drat! I've always wanted an alligator..oh well.

What does ANY OF THIS have to do with Mornings???(the gals at SS like us to stay on task..)Well..here goes the tie in... Each morning, Mia my dear, sweet,slobbery freedom craving, fence scaling St. Bernard loves to herald the dawn...by growling/barking/verbally eviscerating each and every stupid person that decides to walk their dogs off leash down the fairway that poses as our back yard.

I run down stairs each day...in panties and/or robe and fly out on my deck SCREAMING at her TO SHUT UP!!! I should be screaming at the STUPID ASS people who decide to terrorize my dog with their bait animals.. but I'm too nice for that. (clears her throat).

The golf course acts as an natural amphitheatre and our house sits at the opening,yes the quivering lips, of its huge gaping mouth. So at roughly 5:50 each morning..the whole neighbor hood gets treated to Mia's aria..."Go away, you wanky asshole..Get off my land" Then, my counter aria.."MIA, I swear if I had a gun..." (JUST KIDDING)
The whole incident puts a serious cramp in my down dog..sun salutation zen yoga vibe I"m trying to get going here...(Just Kidding again...girls, really..go clear a chakra or something).

But, as I sit here, I am struck with a much better idea... can't I just buy some remote control Electric device..so I can shock The Intruders, right at the head of the golf cart trail. So THEY STOP! Hey, I bet I could train Mia to push that button... She'd be really good at it...Her motto is to protect and serve...She loves the smell of voltage in the morning.. It smell like victory!! BOOOWWW WOOOOWWW!

Well that just about sums things up this morning...any time you're in the Denver area...stop by and I'll show you our whole set up...You'll know our house..just follow the audible buzzing in the air!

Oh what a beautiful morning..at Sunday Scribblings...
posted by wendy at 9:19 AM


ok...i just wrote a comment and it seems to have gotten gobbled up by bloggerspace. aaaahhhhhhh!!!

11/5/06, 2:32 PM  

Aw, poor pooch. She's just doing what dogs do. I hate the idea of shocking pets, but I have once or twice seriously considered getting those "scat mats" to keep our cats off the stove and the counters. Never followed through on it, though. A squirt bottle seems to do the trick and doesn't hurt, just annoys the heck out of them. I imagine it must be maddening having to deal with a chorus of bow-wow's every morning though; I'm in favour of shocking the other owners!

11/5/06, 5:34 PM  

Desert Rat...

please don't think I'm too much of an ogar. I forgot to include one part of the tale. She already has a doggy rap sheet. She bit a cocker that came into our yard..(pre fence) in the butt..and the elderly owner of the dog vowed to have Mia killed. Ever since I have been hyper sensitive about no more complaints about her... Hopefully she will learn, and I can just threaten her with it...or take the batteries out. This is my main occupation, trying to out wit my dog..

11/5/06, 7:10 PM  

i have to tell you though
that your post made me giggle
at the disrobed you
screaming at the dog

too funny

11/6/06, 5:51 AM  

Hah, pets are often harder to outwit than we think. Don't worry, I'd never think of you as an ogre! That's awful that someone threatened to have her killed. I know a lot of horses who will stay in a field because of the mere suggestion of a fence; hopefully Mia will get to that stage.

11/6/06, 10:24 AM  

Sounds like a reasonable solution! Great post - I especially like the "...go clear a chakra or something." :)

11/6/06, 11:00 AM  

Mia will probably get the message soon. Dogs learn to modify their behavior fairly quickly.

11/6/06, 3:40 PM  

This made me laugh out loud! I love your parentheticals. I also deeply empathize, because we had a similar situation growing up at my parents' house - there was a small strip of city land that ran through our yard. People walking their dogs by provoked the heck out of our golden retriever. I remember many a morning, afternoon and evening spent chasing her down into the field, just hoping that she didn't bite someone. Hopefully Mia will learn her lessons more quickly!

11/7/06, 3:39 PM  

Hi Wendy,
Thanks for your comment on my "Morning." As for your morning, at least you've got a sense of humor about it. I enjoyed the read. And I agree that she'll probably learn quickly, it's just a temporary measure.

11/8/06, 6:38 AM  

Wendy, what a delightful way and tone you have in telling of what I know, to you, must have become trials because of their ongoing nature. In spite of it all, it is obvious you love your Mia. Hope she learns quickly. Keep your great sense of humor. Thanks for sharing.

Don't have a clue why this didn't publish the first time. If I have now sent it twice--my apologies and feel free to delete one or both.

11/9/06, 8:58 AM  

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