...quiet, about a lot of things...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Poetry Thursday-Mating of Weeds

This poem flirts only vaguely with the prompt. But as with anything UNFINISHED, it is really impossible, from only one point of view, to tell if indeed it is UNFINISHED, or merely the start of something new all together.


MATING OF WEEDS


Bring me a fist full
of dandelions, plucked
from the edge of your life.

Let their fuzzy heads bend
under my probing touch,smelling
only of earth. Press them into

my palm. Your hand against mine,
fleshy warm as a greenhouse,
Find me moist with desire.

Let us be poor and in love
with more empty than full.
Ripe with seeds, mostly common,

tugging hard at their seams.
Simple as a glass bottle on
a worn wooden shelf,I offer this

vase. Though it shows cracks,
it is still sound. For beginnings,
they weigh next to nothing.


I will muster the strength.
(as the deed has been done)
For there's no stopping the bloom
once this bloom has begun.

wlf 10:24 thursday

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posted by wendy at 10:07 AM

15 Comments:

I like the simplest sections of the poem (the glass bottle, the fist of dandelions) because, more than anything I want to walk through a poem and look around. I need to have people doing things. You have some of that here and I can get behind that.

One obnoxious thought (and I apologize ahead of time): do you know that your blog title has a typo? (alot) I'm an English teacher and such things show up on my radar.

Thank you for the comments on my piece.

8/10/06, 1:32 PM  

I absolutely ADORE this stanza:

"Simple as a glass bottle
on a worn wooden shelf,
The vase I offer shows cracks.
Still, is sound for beginnings
for they weigh next to nothing."

It's so powerful, it could almost stand alone...BUT it works wonderfully with this poem, which is rich in images. GREAT work! :)

8/10/06, 1:43 PM  

I thought it was interesting that you comment on my poem by saying, " It amazes me how many women share this story!"

What made you assume the narrator was a woman?


Anyway, no big deal. As for your poem, ved these lines:

Bring me a fist
full of dandelions, plucked
from the edge of your life.

Let us be poor and in love
with more empty than full.
Ripe with seeds, mostly common,
and tugging hard at their seams.
ignoring all reason, or pedigree
to leap into tomorrow,
into...and beyond.

Actually there are too many.

Great job

8/10/06, 6:20 PM  

Really like that last stanza. Nicely done!

8/10/06, 6:28 PM  

I like the tactile essence of this poem, especially in the beginning stanzas. The way the speaker explores the world through touch.

I also like the extended metaphor of nature, specifically the flowers, interwoven throughout.

And the end rhyme of the poem works so well (done/begun)

8/10/06, 6:30 PM  

This poem is so terrific.

The phrasing and words are put together and flow so beautifully

8/10/06, 7:51 PM  

OK, so I love the ending. And I love these lines:

Ripe with seeds, mostly common,
and tugging hard at their seams.


and

Simple as a glass bottle
on a worn wooden shelf,
The vase I offer shows cracks.


That's not to say I don't love the rest, but these really stood out to me.

8/10/06, 9:13 PM  

"Let us be poor and in love
with more empty than full."

I like the idealism of these lines, as if you will stay in love very long after enduring lots of empty cups.

8/10/06, 10:37 PM  

Oh, so lovely and sad and I've so-been there wanting fists of dandelions. Stunning and absolutely original Wendy.

8/10/06, 10:47 PM  

I like that the vase "is sound for beginnings/ for they weigh next to nothing." The last stanza continues the idea of beginnings, but with vigor, expectancy :)

8/10/06, 11:00 PM  

It's a lovely poem - I have a bit of a thing for dandelions :) I especially liked "plucked from the edge of your life"

8/11/06, 12:44 AM  

I love the idea of being able to conjure something up from things of the earth, like dandelions. Very mystical. Very cool poem.

8/11/06, 5:21 AM  

Love the imagery and power presented in your beautiful poem. Well done!

8/11/06, 12:09 PM  

Another beauty! Thanks for the images of dandelions and palms meeting.

8/12/06, 7:29 AM  

I love the imagery here - simple and direct. The juxtaposition of poverty and abundance is very nicely done.

8/12/06, 9:53 AM  

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